Funny Business

A man is opening a restaurant and he asks one of his workers to come up with a name for it.

The man tells Al, one of his workers, that he will name the resaurant after the first thing Al sees when he goes out the door.

Al walks outside and the first thing he saw was a girl named Lucy and he saw her legs. He told the man, and so the restaurant was named Lucy's Legs. The man was so impressed that he said the next day Al could get a free drink.

The next day Al comes a bit early and a policeman walks by and notices Al waiting there. The policeman asks, "What are you doing?"

Al says, "I'm waiting for Lucy's legs to open so I can get a drink."

Poker Animal

Q: What animal should you never play cards with?

A: A cheetah!

A little boy was lost at a large shopping mall

 

A little boy was lost at a large shopping mall. He approached a uniformed policeman and said, "I've lost my dad!" 

The cop asked, "What's he like?" 

The little boy replied, "Beer and women with big boobs."

Yo Mama's So Fat... Scale

Yo mama's so fat, when she stepped on the scale it said, “One at a time, please.”

Counting Condoms

A boy goes to the drug store with his dad and sees the condom display.

Boy: "Dad, why do they do packs of one condom?"
Dad: "Those are for the high-schoolers for Friday nights."

Boy: "So, why do they make packs of three?"
Dad: "For the college guys for Friday, Saturday and Sunday nights."

Boy: "Then why do they make packs of 12?"
Dad: "Those are for married couples -- you know, January, February, March."